Pat’s Journey
From Heartbreak to Healing: Pat’s Journey of Purpose!
I’m Pat Day-McCray, and my life has been shaped by profound loss, resilience, and ultimately, purpose.
My journey with grief began at seventeen when a tragic accident claimed the lives of my two younger brothers. I still remember the horror of that day—the devastating moment that changed my family forever. Years later, after a beautiful Father’s Day church service, I found my father unresponsive from a sudden heart attack. In time, I became my mother’s caregiver as she faced the slow decline of dementia, offering her comfort and dignity in her final chapter.
But nothing prepared me for the life and loss of my daughter, Alicia—a loss that altered my world completely.
Alicia was born healthy, happy, and beautiful. At just a year and a half, she suddenly became ill. An exploratory surgery revealed gangrene in her intestines, forcing doctors to remove over 90% of them. She was diagnosed with Short Bowel Syndrome (SBS) and required a colostomy bag and intravenous feedings through a broviac catheter.
Her little body endured so much. Catheter blockages, multiple surgeries, and long hospital stays became our reality. One morning, while recovering in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit (PICU), Alicia went into cardiac arrest. An EEG confirmed that she had slipped into a coma. She remained in that state for ten months before quietly passing away—just four months before her fourth birthday.
Her death shattered me. The grief I experienced after losing Alicia was unlike anything I had ever known. I was overwhelmed by denial, anger, sadness, and unbearable loneliness. I built my entire world around Alicia, and when she was gone, I didn’t know how to live without her. For years, I wore a mask of strength while silently drowning in pain.
Eventually, I made the hardest—but most life-changing—decision of my life:
I chose to confront my grief, not be consumed by it.
I faced the anger, the depression, the guilt—and I began to heal. That decision sparked something greater. I spent years studying grief, family communication, emotional resilience, and child development. From those lessons, I built not just a life, but a calling.
Today, I am honored to be a Grief Coach, certified through the International Coaching Federation (ICF). I am the CEO and Founder of PDM Journey Coaching. I specialize in supporting mothers with children in intensive care units due to a chronic illness or life-threatening circumstances and supporting those mothers experiencing grief after losing their children.
I am the CEO and Founder of A Pathway From Grief. In this not-for-profit organization, I support underserved and underprivileged adults, parents, and guardians dealing with unresolved grief, limited parenting skills and techniques to help eliminate emotional and physical abuse and premature deaths within children.
I am also the CEO and Founder of Medically Inspired Reading About Challenging Life Experiences (MIRACLE) Online Bookstore. I supply a customized book genre that explains and introduces real-life medical illnesses, conditions, and circumstances to children. MIRACLE promotes and encourages accepting those considered “different,” builds self-esteem, and reduces bullying and suicide among our children. Lastly, my patent-owned invention for Therapeutic Dolls allows children to understand before and after surgical procedures encouraging them to become participants in their healthcare at young ages.
I am grateful to God for my entire journey, and I feel chosen and honored to use my life experiences to support mothers and children.
